An American visited our town last week.
Male , caucasian , florid of cheek - answered to Bud - didn't catch the surname. Hailed from Madison Indiana it transpired.
Bumped into him on Wednesday morning as I was delivering coal in one of the myriad of new housing estates to blossom gaudily during the recent hiatus which interrupted our prevailing economic state of dismal depression.
He was having trouble locating the abode of a Mr Hourlaw , a fellow American he was keen to meet. Bud had been imbibing in one of our local hostelries , the "Merry Sniper" , and had been informed by a helpful band of forelock-tipping peasants of the existence of another American who had retired and settled in our little town. And , amazingly , this Mr Hourlaw had lived all his life in Madison Indiana too !! What are the chances !!
And , now , the following morning I had encountered Bud , piece of paper in hand and a look of perplexed frustration on face. He cheered up on seeing me presuming , rightly , that in my line of work I'd probably be in a position to render clear and unambiguous directions to the elusive home of Mr Hourlaw.But I had never heard of the man.
"What's his christian name , good buddy ?" said I trying to sound American and sophisticated.
Bud checked his piece of paper. "Chuck " he drawled - before spittin' a well masticated plug of baccy onto the pav..sidewalk.
It meant nothing to me.
Bud drawled a bit more. "Guys in the bar said he liked to be called Chucky !"
And then it hit me .
"Sorry Bud but I think you're the victim of a wind-up , old hombre" , I told him.
I'd have loved to explain it to him but old Mrs McAsal at number 6 was roaring for briquettes , with a face on her like a smacked aarse !