‘MY TWEET IS BIGGER THAN YOURS’
A very Tremendous President
(And sexual allegations survivor)
Young men in America,
This is a very scary time for you. One week ago a truly good man’s life was in tatters, it could just as easily have been you. He was shattered, his wife and his daughters - who are beautiful - were shattered. They said prayers.
But today is a tremendous day and our Great Nominee isn’t shattered anymore. He has been appointed a United States Supreme Court Justice, beautiful thing, very exciting. On behalf of our nation, I have apologized to Brett and the entire Kavanaugh family for the terrible pain and suffering they have been forced to endure. Terrible.
How did he survive?
Let me explain because I know words, I have the best words. I’m smart. If I were a liberal, if, like, okay, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world - it’s true! Putin said I was a genius. Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it!
You need to understand women. I know women, I cherish them - I’ve had three wives, billions of affairs and lots of touching. Lots. I love beautiful women, and beautiful women love me - it has to be both ways. Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich, I’m worth many billions of dollars, I have the best golf courses in the world and my fingers are long and beautiful as are various other parts of my body. Women love me, consciously or unconsciously. I have fantastic hair. FACT.
Most women are either beautiful or ugly. My daughter and Miss USA/Miss Universe Pageant contestants are beautiful. Rosie O Donnell has a fat ugly face and Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband. Howard Stern said it best ‘I'd rather have a retarded hot woman than a slob who's a doctor’. (High Five)
Then there are the Christine Blasey Fords - ‘evil people’.
Men are automatically attracted to beautiful women. We just start touching them, kissing them. And when you’re a star, like me, they let you do it. You can do anything….Grab them by the pussy. Anything. But some of the evil elevator screamer types are hiding amongst the normal ones and they don’t like touching - and - Boom! It gets scary for you – SEXUAL ALLEGATION!
You need to CATEGORICALLY and UNEQUIVOCALLY DENY this allegation. You are NOT Mexican.
All fellas have probably done things we look back on and regret, cringe right? #MeToo! Younger fellas do goofy or stupid stuff all the time.
So, we step forward to serve our country, the least we deserve is a fair and dignified evaluation, not a campaign of political and personal destruction based on the sh!t we did when we were young. THAT GOOFY SH!T DOES NOT COUNT. Sexual allegations can derail us on our way to the top of a great career in LAW/Politics/Football.
Allegations made decades later can ruin a man's life, #MeToo again (snigger)
This is a very - very difficult time. The audacity! You are a terrific man with a great intellect! You go to Church on Sundays and you have a great professional standing - pillar of the community or in my case - pillar of the USA - TRUE! Testify as to the social and professional impact all this is having on you. Cry. Up-play the severity of the long-term effects on YOU - DEVASTATING when you are an incredible individual. You have a very attractive wife – she is very pretty – she is a lovely woman, and your beautiful young daughters. How terrible for them.
You have been a great judge/footballer/politician/ president/ producer - impeccable history in every way – IN EVERY WAY - unblemished record. You know weightlifting. You pray to Jesus. Favourite book of all time? THE BIBLE. Look at what you have done, how talented you are! You do not come from a ‘Shithole’ country. Show them that you have a great temperament. Incidentally, I have one of the great temperaments. I have a winning temperament, I know how to win and I’m humble.
*If this keeps up, you could lose your professional standing and country club membership. DISGRACEFUL SITUATION - brought about by people that are evil. The ‘screamer’is solely responsible for this evil that’s ruining your life. Evil people destroy people. Tough it out until you can get back to being the faithful defender of the rule of law that you are right now.
The Fake News Media will try to make it look sooooo big, and it’s not. They make up stories without any backup or proof…HIGHEST LEVEL OF UNFAIR when you can’t or don’t want to remember anything that happened.
And the women – TOTALLY UNHINGED; I have witnessed first-hand the damage they do to so many innocent and decent men. DISGRACE! Your life is shattered by a mere FALSE sexual allegation.
Who is behind all this?
The Safe-Space Democrats; CNN, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Michael Moore, Google, Barack Obama, Jennifer Lawrence, Global warming, JK Rowling, MSNBC, Married gay people, Meryl Streep, Soros funded groups and all the other jealous liberal lefty democrats that have become too dangerous to govern - all seeking revenge on behalf of the Clintons - cannot help the fact that they were born Fu*ked up. Incidentally, every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection - it's not their fault.
FACT. Women have a tendency to mis-remember or mis-construe. If this ‘attack’ was as bad as she says, charges would have been immediately filed with local Law Enforcement Authorities, they weren’t – lies! Fake!
She is unhinged, unreliable - remembers this, doesn’t remember that - can’t remember all the names. If she can only remember YOUR name she has 100% named the wrong guy. She is mis-remembering.
You have no relationship with her - NEVER MET HER - never spoken to her on the phone, no. You didn't go hiking with her! Be vague. Do not feel the need to give a straight answer to a straight question.
Don’t keep Calendar diaries, tweet stuff or remember stuff. DELETE. What you want is no proof beyond a he said/she said. Tell her you, your wife and your 10 year old daughter are praying for her. People love that sh!t. Yeah, sure, while she is torturing you, be seen to ‘respect her position’, pay lip service to the need to ‘listen and hear’ from her.
Publically annihilate her. Mock her. Use ambiguous or minimizing language. You want to stop anyone else coming forward to ‘share’ like experiences… no me-too’ers. Avoid politically correct terms like ‘victim’ and ‘survivor’. Instead use words like ‘Screamer’. This is NOT your fault. Make her PROVE it. These liars with their fabricated stories - FALSE smears - horrible people - horrible, horrible liars!
‘IT WASN’T ME’! (Highest level of special by the way Shaggy - United States Marine Corps - didn’t get captured - Like it. VERY COOL) …Didn’t like the parody BTW Shaggy – NOT COOL.
Young men, let your mistakes not end where their ‘FEELINGS’ begin. If they can fight somebody like me, just look at what they can do to you. Everything is at stake.
The Nov. 6 midterms Fellas - it’s not scary over here - America First! HELL YEAH!!!