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Thread: Political Rhymes (or Crimes)

  1. #1
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    Default Political Rhymes (or Crimes)

    I thought with all the literary talent there is on this site that posters might like a thread that caters for political satire (or even humorous) verse. Single verse, Limericks or even ballads, whatever does the job you want. The following came about after gaining first hand experience of the shambles PH has made of the Household tax. I'd also been listening to the song, "Three Drunken Maidens", so I sort of wrote it to that tune.

    Phill Hogan’s Plan

    Florid-faced Phill Hogan,
    So Impulsive and so Brash,
    Decided that he knew a Way
    To get the Gov more Cash.

    “A Tax on every Household,
    I’ll put!” he said with Glee.
    The People said, “You Dunderhead
    With this we Don’t Agree.”

    “When You’re the one who makes the Rules.
    The People you can Taunt,”
    Said Florid-Faced Phill Hogan,
    “I can do What I Want!”

    “Why should We pay this Tax,
    Which is not Fair nor Just?”
    Said Florid-Faced Phill Hogan,
    “Because I say you MUST!”

    “But how can Poor Folk pay it?
    It is not Just nor Fair.”
    Said Florid-Faced Phill Hogan,
    “What makes you think I Care?”

    So Up There, high upon the Clouds,
    Safe in his Ivory Tower,
    Sits Florid-Faced Phill Hogan,
    The Man who has The POWER.

    Then I thought of what defines Eamon Gilmore in a lot of people's minds -

    Who's Way?


    “It’s Labour’s Way, not Frankfurt’s Way.”
    That’s what E. Gilmore said.
    But now it is seems it’s Neither Way –
    It’s Eamon’s Way instead.

    And I wrote this one a long time ago -

    The Politician’s Creed

    Never explain, or use clear words, talk only to confuse.
    Agree to do things that you can’t, and seem not to refuse.

    Always ride on bandwagons, they’ll take you to the top.
    Keep from the Cliff Of Promises, avoid that deadly drop.

    Always use a hundred words where one word would have done,
    Side with the rich, forget the rest, look after Number One.

  2. #2
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    There was an old teacher from Limerick,
    Who is right in the thick of it,
    Says he, "tis a bit wobbly, if not a bit wibbly",
    But at least his remit is not the Cypriot.

  3. #3

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    There was an old jew at the top,
    Who walked up and talked to a cop,
    Said the mike to the kike,
    No offence , I dont like,
    What you did to our christ on the cross..

    (sorry , i know its juvenile and tragic but i just love the metre(meter?) of it)
    Its kind of topical too,in a poetic kinda way , you know when you grope for luna ?...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lando Calrissian View Post
    There was an old jew at the top,
    Who walked up and talked to a cop,
    Said the mike to the kike,
    No offence , I dont like,
    What you did to our christ on the cross..

    (sorry , i know its juvenile and tragic but i just love the metre(meter?) of it)
    Its kind of topical too,in a poetic kinda way , you know when you grope for luna ?...
    Oh chr!st

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by PlinkaPlonka View Post
    Oh chr!st
    Lol ,you said it PP
    At least mine was technically correct , if not politically so.

  6. #6
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    There was an obfuscator from Mayo,
    Who managed very well to lay low,
    When confronted by a guard,
    His face turned the colour of a tomato.

    (not as in tune...I know)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lando Calrissian View Post
    Lol ,you said it PP
    At least mine was technically correct , if not politically so.
    technicalities, schmecticalities

  8. #8
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    There was a Minister from Mainistir na Croise,
    Who had a bad habit of cursin'
    When confronted by the Sindo,
    He tended to curse til our ears were black n' blue,
    But that never stopped him from blowin' and bruisin'.

    (disclaimer: factually inaccurate, technically improved Limerick, mehopes)

  9. #9

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    There once was a site they called P.ie,
    Where many a rogue would stop by,
    To spill sh*t from his head,
    Before he went to bed,
    And then in the morning he'd cry.

  10. #10
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    There was a pp called Labour
    Jim was an inspirer long ago,
    When Power came a-beckoning
    What's the use in reckoning
    That its core, its heart wouldn't go....

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