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Thread: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? A Consulting Interventionism Analysis of Ireland

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    Default Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? A Consulting Interventionism Analysis of Ireland

    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? A Consulting Interventionism Analysis of Ireland and the EU:

    Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the new market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken rethink its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital, and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes, and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management Framework.

    Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen Consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

    Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. For that, the chicken received a bill of 21 million euro.

    This is why we have horse meat marketed as beef and why we owe for what the banks lost or over paid for.
    Last edited by Sangreel; 27th February 2013 at 01:18 PM.
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    I want to know what the steak holders thought.

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    What is missing?

    The solution is clear.

    Consultants should be retained to examine current best practice in the retention of consultants, supply a VFM audit against identified deliverables, with an action plan for down the road.
    "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair.

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    Quote Originally Posted by He3 View Post
    What is missing?

    The solution is clear.

    Consultants should be retained to examine current best practice in the retention of consultants, supply a VFM audit against identified deliverables, with an action plan for down the road.
    Exactly the opposite of what's required. That's just brilliant.

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    Politics.ie Member EoinMag's Avatar
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    Of course this is a spoof as Andersen Consulting would never refer to a chicken, it would be a Feathered Ambulatory Fowl or FAF for short.

    (I do have Andersen Consulting on my CV )
    “atheism is a belief system in the same way that not playing football is a sport.”

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    Have they been squirreling away information?

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    Politics.ie Member EoinMag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dizillusioned View Post
    Have they been squirreling away information?
    Only up to the point where they use the term FAF in a presentation and the client looks confused as to what is being referred to, then the relief when they are let in on the fact that FAF is infact what they are calling a chicken, then you as the client feel foolish and are thankful that you have Andersen there to translate their acronyms and then you realise what you are paying for and they're so worth it.....

    (this part is not a joke, it is the MO, or at least was)
    “atheism is a belief system in the same way that not playing football is a sport.”

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    Politics.ie Member statsman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sangreel View Post
    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? A Consulting Interventionism Analysis of Ireland and the EU:

    Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the new market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken rethink its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital, and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes, and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management Framework.

    Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen Consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

    Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. For that, the chicken received a bill of 21 million euro.

    This is why we have horse meat marketed as beef and why we owe for what the banks lost or over paid for.
    This is missing a clear, concise, 2000-page report on the role of the egg. Was it anterior or posterior? Back to the drawing board.
    Put a thief among honest men and they will eventually relieve him of his watch. Flann O'Brien

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    Politics.ie Member EoinMag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by statsman View Post
    This is missing a clear, concise, 2000-page report on the role of the egg. Was it anterior or posterior? Back to the drawing board.

    Egg? You're not getting the hang of this that would be a PFAF, or a pre-Feathered ambulatory fowl.
    “atheism is a belief system in the same way that not playing football is a sport.”

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