22 January 2013
by Croesus Ic Na Mithuna
Google executives are said to be not bothering with a crisis meeting today in response to the news that the Iona Institute has banned Google from its computers.
One source inside the company spoke on condition of anonymity, saying’ Hello you are through to Tom in Finance. Kindly leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can after the Weekly Tax Avoidance meeting.’
Iona Institute staff at the outsourced back-office in Mumbai reported a mixed response from staff ranging from ‘damn it I was going to look up the fixtures for the weekend while the road rose to be meeting me’ to a despairing ‘faith, the only thing that gets me through the day is looking at Google images galleries of Caroline Simons, begorrah, isn’t it’.
Junior Minister for Being Annoying Commander Kri-Ton speaking to reporters outside her constituency office confirmed that she thought it was ‘good enough for them. That’ll sort out their Mergers and Acquisitions for a while. D’you like my blouse?. Is the frill a bit, y’know, racey? Well I’m not changing now. RTE can change. If they don’t I’m telling Enda.’
While Google Dublin was in a regular lockdown which apparently occurs every evening at about 5.30 we contacted Google HQ in Spatchcock, Wisconsin, having been passed via Bermuda, the Netherlands, Dublin and finally on to the United States.
“What? Who are you? And how did you get this goddamn number?’ a spokeswoman yelled before slamming down the ‘phone.
The crisis is expected not to develop much further tomorrow, to be honest with you.