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Thread: Should Irish car thieves be more like Swiss car thieves?

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    Politics.ie Member Shqiptar's Avatar
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    Default Should Irish car thieves be more like Swiss car thieves?

    I've noticed recently a series of threads extolling the virtues of Switzerland as a country and urging or at least wondering if we should emulate this alpine nation.

    This is a welcome development! I'd like to see more! Permit me to add a few other areas that spring to mind where we come up short relative to the denizens of Helvetia.

    Car stealing! We're way behind the Swiss on this. Car theft in Switzerland (a country with less than twice our population) is running at between 4 and 5 times Irish levels.

    Car thefts statistics - countries compared - Crime data on NationMaster

    Clearly, we have a lot of catching up to do there.

    Loony far rightists: the Swiss People's Party has achieved major electoral success by focusing on immigration issues and festooning the country with wonderfully inventive posters showing black hands grabbing at Swiss passports and white sheep kicking black sheep. Here in Ireland, we don't even have a loony far-right party. How embarrassing! What's wrong with us??

    Banking secrecy: well, what needs be said here!? Every dictator who has ever looted the treasury of a failed African state sooner or later calls up one Swiss bank or another. We're so missing out on this lucrative market.

    Feel free to add more....
    Last edited by Shqiptar; 19th December 2012 at 08:49 PM. Reason: Typos
    Eagla agus eaglais: an bhfuil an fhréamh teangeolaíochta céanna acu?

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    Mr Germany walks into a bar, he gets a place at the bar on the other side of Mr Poland from Mr russia. Mr Britain notices this but chooses to ignore it and notices Mr France heading to the toilet vacating his seat.

    Mr Russia and Mr Germany push Mr Poland off his seat then decide to use his stool to put their bags on dividing it equally.

    Mr Germany notices that Mr France left his seat and starts spreading his stuff over it.

    While this is all happening Mr Switzerland decides to sit in the middle but not take any side, either condemning or commending but at the same time offering to hold onto any jackets that Mr Germany has found.

    Suddenly Mr France comes out of the toilet and yelps like a little girl and goes to mBritain and tries to get him to retrieve his seat. Mr Switzerland sees what's happening and sets up a coat check stand. As it is all about to kick off into a bar room brawl Mr. Switzerland hands out flyers to say his coat check stand is open and tells everyne he is the only person you can trust and you dont want to leave your jackets out.

    Everyone checks in their coats that can, and when the fighting is over they go to retrieve their jackets. They are met with the excuse that they dont have the relevant ticket and lose their coats all together or retrieve their coat and find that someone has gone through their pockets and all their money and wallets are gone.

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    Politics.ie Member sondagefaux's Avatar
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    Switzerland should be renamed Mobutuland, in honour of the amount of loot the late kleptomaniac dictator stuffed away there.
    Mark Murray.

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    Politics.ie Member firefly123's Avatar
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    Plus toblerones hurt the roof of my mouth!
    Life is hard
    That's why no-one survives

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    Politics.ie Member seabhcan's Avatar
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    Switzerland didn't give women the vote until the 1970's - mainly because of one valley which refused to allow it.

    They also didn't become a UN member until 2002, despite the fact that UN HQ was in Switzerland.

    As they say, Switzerland isn't neutral, its just indecisive.

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    Politics.ie Member Asparagus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefly123 View Post
    Plus toblerones hurt the roof of my mouth!
    Bite the angles off
    ANGER IS A POLICY, GET OFF YOUR KNEES

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    Politics.ie Member firefly123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asparagus View Post
    Bite the angles off
    I have issues with chocolate. Issues that involve me skipping past the whole chewing section and going straight to the wolfing part. Pointy chocolate creates a problem.
    Life is hard
    That's why no-one survives

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    Quote Originally Posted by firefly123 View Post
    I have issues with chocolate. Issues that involve me skipping past the whole chewing section and going straight to the wolfing part. Pointy chocolate creates a problem.
    You DO know a toblerone is meant to to be broken into chunks before you cram it into your mouth? Don't you?
    "Holding it together with pilates and gin."

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    Politics.ie Member Mountaintop's Avatar
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    Must....not.....make .....inappropriate....Marianne .....Faithfull.........joke......

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    Politics.ie Member firefly123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alloverbartheshouting View Post
    You DO know a toblerone is meant to to be broken into chunks before you cram it into your mouth? Don't you?
    As I have stated I have issues with chocolate. Don't judge me!
    Life is hard
    That's why no-one survives

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