And, as we've noted, the next Mellon bright idea is for jobless Irish teachers to be employed in Kenya: surely, one of the wittier outcomes of the Croke Park deal. We make teachers too expensive for Irish use, and then export our unemployment to Kenya. And if our teachers, why not our surplus civil servants, soldiers, police-officers? Rather like the days of the Empire, when surplus sons were packed off to run the Colonies.
ALL over Ireland we have schools with leaking roofs and stinking toilets. Yet instead of attending to these chronic local needs, thousands of Irish people have been building houses in South Africa.
Next, no doubt, house-building in Kenya, which has been independent (39 years) for nearly as long as it was an official crown colony (42 years). However, the appetites of Irish piety are probably too restless to be confined to South Africa and Kenya, or even to neighbouring Uganda, where millions of Irish money have just vanished without trace.
No matter: we'll just borrow some more, at compound interest. Clearly, no African country is large enough to absorb all our charitable recklessness. We should simply annex the entire continent, from Cairo to the Cape, upon which stage we can then showcase our moral superiority to the world.