GALWAY Mayor Niall O Brolchain is a bloody disgrace for all the bad things that have happened in recent weeks, Fianna Fail said at the weekend, before going on to accuse the Galway mayor of possibly being responsible for the murder in Jamaica of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer.
In an strongly worded statement written and spellchecked by party spindoctors in Dublin, local FFers were apoplectic at the thought that he might get elected at the cost of their candidate and went on an all out attack to blame him for everything.
Environment Minister Dickie Rock, sorry Dick Roche, was despatched from Dublin on Friday to lay into the Mayor and blame him for everything, from water to rain and weather.
In a directive from FF HQ in Dublin, local activists were told to rubbish the mayor at all opportunities and over the weekend they continued their attack, secure in the knowledge that the electorate will not see through their clever ploy.
However, late on Saturday night, Galway Worst has learned that local Fianna Failers ran out of things to blame the mayor for and so a new list was despatched from Dublin.
Cllr Michael “The Parachuted Birdman of Bohermore” Crowe, reading from a script said, “the mayor is a bloody disgrace for the way he has behaved over all these crises in the past week. Not alone has he made a mess of our water, but he cannot abdicate responsibility for the manner in which the Dublin hurling team beat Galway recently. It’s OK saying that he had nothing to do with this, but he was mayor and he have should have been able to sort it out.
“Then there is the problem with ‘Stroke’ Fahy. How do we know that O Brolchain didn’t help him put up that fence? And Lucia Evans. How come he didn’t make her a star, ha, how come, Tell me that, will ya?”
Sensationally Fianna Fail have also claimed that the mayor cannot account for his movement on the night that Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer was murdered in his hotel room in Jamaica.
“He might say he was in Galway, but he’s mayor so he has to be held accountable,” the spokesman added.
In addition to the accusation of murder, incompetence and complacency over the hurling, they have also claimed that:
• His beard is not real
• In proper talk his name means Niall of the Dodgy Road Policies
• Privately he loves red meat
• Not alone is he a tree hugger, but that they have a tree who will say it went way further than that. And it’s willing to talk.
Local FF analists, sorry, analysts say they feel the Blame the Broclh strategy will work wonders for them in Galway West and will relieve the need for Frank Fahey and Eamon O Cuiv to bother asking for transfers for The Birdman.