President Barack Obama Inaguration Thread

[FutureTaoiseach]

Originally Posted by PhoenixIreland

You don't need a bible, theres no mention of god or a bible in the US constutution.
You could be sworn in on a copy of Nuts Magazine if you wanted to.

I predict a possible 3rd (!) inauguration. CNN are about to look at this now on The Situation Room (506 on Sky). Remember that the oath is in the Constitution.

[sandar]

yeah yeah yeah first the birth cert notw this......have they not got more to be worrying about

[PhoenixIreland]

Originally Posted by FutureTaoiseach

I predict a possible 3rd (!) inauguration. CNN are about to look at this now on The Situation Room (506 on Sky). Remember that the oath is in the Constitution.

The thing with 24 hour news in the US FT, is that they don't know what news is.
We might think Skys constant rotation of the same 6 stories over and over for 24 hours straight is repetitive, but it's far better than the stuff CNN, Fox and to a lesser extent MSNBC get up to.
They have 24 hours to spare, but only 45 minutes to an hours worth of news.

So intead of taking the Sky route, they take the entertainment route.
They try desperately to think of thing to fill that space with. Do they fill it with oversight of the government? oversight of business? do they ask the hard questions about why America is the way it is. pffffff! No! that would never get high ratings.
Because they know the US public, much like ours, but to a greater extent, have been infantalized by the amount of marketing in their economy, and can only handle short, exciting, comic book like stories.

So we end up with crap like the "imaginary terrorist plots" segments Blitzer ran in the situation room where they showed graphics of exploding oil tankers in new yorks harbour explaining how that would cause caos in the city.
What might happen if a dirty bomb went off???? BOO!!!! TERRORISTS UNDER YOUR BED! Did they go into how difficult it would be for a terorist group to get their hands on some of the materials required to make one? no, they made it sound like all any fool had to do was walk into the radiology dept of a hospital, pull some stuff out of an xray machine and that was that.

They cooperated with Bush in creating a climate of fear that led to that scumbags launching a war that killed over a million Iraqis and 4000 brave soilders, the same climate ensuring his re-election.

They didn't ask why the President was getting his WMD intelligence from a guy the CIA code named "curveball" but now suddenly their all concerned and launching special segments because John Roberts didn't use notes and misspoke the oath??

Are you ******************************g kidding me????

The US 24 hour news networks, with a few exceptions (Racial Maddow, Brian Williams, and K.Couric at least if you don't count her pre-Iraq coverage are some small examples) are nothing more than ratings whores who would put a bum fight to the death on the TV if they thought it would get the numbers up.


(tries to catch breath)

Now FT...you've gone and made me loose my temper....

[PhoenixIreland]

Chapter III of IV (The Reign of Hil-Dog; A Nation In Tears)




President Clinton descended the steps of air force one to a deserted air strip at Andrews air force base, deserted of course except for Maine One and some secret service guards, who were waiting a few feet away.

She felt refreshed. While on the plane she had polished off an entire bottle of her favorite drink, it was only on the market since November 4th, but she could not get enough of it.

It would be easy for her to think of what she had done as a coup, but it was perfectly constitutional.... except for the dissolution of congress...she felt guilty about that for a second, but then reminded herself that the people were the ultimate source of power, and the people had rewarded George W Bush with a second term for his breaches of the constitution, so she was sure they would let her away with it.

Besides, it was only right she had the job, if not for the democratic parties rule changes to Florida and Michigan, and if the democratic primary had been run like the republican primary, she would have beat Obama easily in the primary and slaughtered McCain and Palin in the general.

She climbed into Marine One as her gaurds gave her a fist salute, and flew straight to the south lawn of the white house.

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As Obama walked into his suite at the Washington Mayfair Hotel he immediatly noticed something on the center of the confance table...it was a giant bowl of multi flavored ice cream. with a giant red bow sitting on top and a small stem of arugula sticking out of the ice cream on each side. She was toying with him, ever since he worked in a baskin robbins at 15 he hated ice cream. He noticed Michelle standing over the girls looking concerned, "whats wrong" he asked.


Michelle pointed silently to girls, Obama frowned, the girls were playing with President Barbie dolls, Sasha looked up with a wide smile on her face sounding excited and said "look Dad! look at the present Mrs Clinton left for us, she's so cool!", Malia chimed in "yeh sorry Dad, a woman president is just cooler, you should step aside, ye know, for the greater good...ye had a good run" -then her face turned serious as she looked up with a sly grin- "..but it's over now" Obama dropped to his knees, raised his fists in the air and in the most melodramatic way he could manage he screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Marine One touched down at the White House and Clinton marched straght to the white house press room. Mark Penn and Terry McAuliffe, who had been standing by the door, sank to one knee and said deferentially "your highness" as she walked through the door.


Those two really annoyed her, but they fell into the category of useful idiots so she kept them around. McAuliffe could sell snow to eskimos, and she was going to appoint him governor of Virginia.

She walked to the door of the White House Press Room, her main secret service gaurds dressed up like rocksteady and bebop, she wondered if by dressing them like that she was letting the cartoon villan analogies go too far, but dismissed the thought as the music began, she marched to the podium not to the traditional shortened version of hail to the cheif, but to the music from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes back:

YouTube - Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back Isolated Score [Part 5]

YouTube - Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back Isolated Score [Part 5]

A very confused press corps looked at each other, and at the strange looking secret service agents. President Clinton laid her hands on both sides of the podium as the music played, she had insisted the full version of the music play. She looked around the room like a medevil queen reviewing her subjects as the music blared out at deafening volume.




As the music stopped she began: "My fellow Americans, due to a previously unforeseen but extremely serious threat to their security, the President and Vice-President have temporarily relinquished their offices and are at undisclosed locations until further notice. Next in line were of course Seantor Byrd and Speaker Pelosi. They have however recused themselves because, due to my insomnia, I'm better at answering 3am phone calls (she chuckled) and you know...it would take a nuclear explosion to wake Senator Byrd and as for speaker Pelosi, well she's just not a morning person"


She looked at her teleprompter, the next paragraph was filled with just "verb, noun (insert presidential cliche), verb, noun (insert presidential cliche), verb, noun (insert presidential cliche)..." her staff had forgot to actually insert the speech. She coughed "erm, any questions?".


Chuck Todd raised his hand and asked why she was smiling at a time of national crises, her smile faded suddenly "well...um..you know how when people cry but it's because they're happy? well this is sorta like that....erm anyway no more questions, Mr McAuliffe will be available now should you need anything", she quickly exited the room to the sound, once more, of star wars music, "idiots" she thought to herself, she may as well have put a cardboard cut out at the podium for all the useful information they'd get out of McAuliffe, it was like interviewing a child with ADD, he had a lot to say but it was all gibberish.


She hurried to the oval office, the line was already long outside the door and down the corridor, Chelsea was getting married today and it was family tradition for the head of the family, which was her no matter what she occasionally liked to let Bill think, to grant favors on the day of the daughters wedding. Just her luck that Chelsea had picked coup-day for the wedding, but she wanted a White House wedding and lets face it that would look great in the photos...


to be continued...

[PhoenixIreland]

Chapter IV of IV (The Counter-Coup)

President Clinton sat in the oval office while a long line of people paid tribute and asked favors, Bill stood obediently behind her to the left.




President Obama sat at the Washington Mayfair Hotel plotting his return with his advisors. Axelrod brought up the Venezualn coup of 2002, and how the deposed President had rallied the people who elected him to storm the parliament and bring him back to power. "The people don't even know I've been deposed" said Obama, "how can we rally anyone, we can't even communicate outside this room". "I still have my blackberry" Axelrod said with a grin. David Plouffe rolled his eyes "what are you gonna do go on an internet message board and scream 'help! coup! coup!' in large caps?" "Well not with those exact words, but yes!" Axelrod replied "it will at least get the rumor mill going, some people are likely to believe it espehcally after that bizzare Lex Luther press conference she just gave!"

Obama sighed and leaned forward "Fine, but keep trying to get past the jamming signal and make a phone call, if we can get in touch with a network then this is over for sure, we need someone besides Alex Jones to believe theres been a silent coup".

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Agent Dirk Diggler, of the Secret Service Counter-Assault Squad, stood gaurd outside the white house. The pockets of his combats were filled with "911 truth" and "Vote Nader" stickers.

In the event of protesters arriving who had sussed out his masters plan, he and his team were to slap as many of these stickers on them as they could, so that when the news cameras arrived, nobody would take them seriously.

Normally very disciplined, like all Secret Service agents, he was very edgy at the moment, he'd almost opened fire on a family of ducks a few minutes before because he thought their quacks sounded awfully like "yes we can".

No need to be so nervous, he told himself, his guys had sealed the white house and were surrounding it in throngs.

Agents were even randomly sweeping the cities streets looking for signs of resistance.

He listened to reports coming over the radio and suddenly his heart jumped into his throat:

#Hub reports rumors spreading on internet boards like wildfire, some of them are on to us.

#We've floored and handcuffed a guy standing outside with an "impeach clinton" sign.

#We caught some guy climbing over the gate yelling "no way I'm letting you keep a brother down!!!" were running out of stickers over here we need backup!!

He looked across the street and saw another agent yell "grab that one she's going for the fence!", but other agents got to her first

Just as he thought they had things under control he saw a mob almost as big as the one on inaguration day heading for the white house...there was no way they could deal with a crowd that size....how did so many people find out? Theres no way they were all reading internet boards....something had changed......


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Hillary had stopped the tribute line to watch FOX coverage of the "9-11 truthers and angry Nader voters" protesting outside the white house, as usual Fox was swallowing the official line, everything was going according to plan. Clinton changed the channel to MSNBC, they were always whores to the democratic party, her jaw dropped as she listened, Obama was on the phone to them, and he was singing like a canary.

Suddenly her secret service detail burst in screaming into their sleeves "the jig is up, execute Lazarus protocol", before she knew it she was lifted off her feet, out the door, through the Marilyn Monroe Tunnel under the white house, into a waiting darkened BWM, it screeched off, flinging her backwards into her seat before she knew what was happening.

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The President arrived back at the white house and was sworn in properly by Cheif Justice Roberts. Then Roberts was led away in handcuffs to face treason charges. Cool, I get to change the balance of the court, the President thought, looks like its mandatory gay marraige for all!

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Epilogue
Hillary sat in a leather chair behind her desk, gazing out the large window of her secondary layer in the Ural Mountains, as she stroked Socks II in her lap she said to Bill, who was standing behind her "...looks like it's plan B then, you know he'll mess up, Jesus himself could not meet those expectations, and when he does, I'll be right there to fill the void with an 'I told you so'".

She put Socks II on the floor and walked over to where her staff was waiting. They were seated at a large confrance table, on the wall in front of it was a huge poster with a map of the United States titled "2012 DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES". You just couldn't keep Hillary down.


Look out for "The End of Hope II: The Wrath of Hillary", in all good bookstores January 21st 2013"

YouTube - Loony Tunes -That's All Folks

YouTube - Loony Tunes -That's All Folks

[East Coast Elitist]

Originally Posted by PhoenixIreland

Look out for "The End of Hope II: The Wrath of Hillary", in all good bookstores January 21st 2013"

Excellent....3 1/2 Legos. It would get the full 4 Legos if only she had made an appearance at the end:

[PhoenixIreland]

Originally Posted by East Coast Elitist

Excellent....3 1/2 Legos. It would get the full 4 Legos if only she had made an appearance at the end:

Hey it took me 3 hours to do just that much because I had to scour google images looking for various shots of various people in the exact poses I wanted them.

Try as I did, I could find none of Hillary in a leather chair stroking a cat,

I heard her speech to the state dept today, maybe she'll work out ok, I may have been wrong about her.

[East Coast Elitist]

no no no...this isn't Hillary. Look at the hair.

[PhoenixIreland]

Palin? I was gonna work her into the plot until I realized how unlikely those two working together would be.
Besides her having a sidekick would take away from her thunder.

[Bobert]

Chelsea, perhaps?