21 Economic Models Explained

[forest]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it
worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

[20000miles]

I think this could be expanded:

KEYNESIANISM
You have two cows.
To produce more milk, the State tells you to drink more of it.

MONETARISM
Your cows have run out of milk.
Print more money.

[Twin Towers]

PALESTINIAN CORPORATION:
You don't have any cows. You claim that the Israeli cows belong to you.

IRISH CORPORATION:
You have one Cowen. You wish you had no Cowen.

[Gadjodilo]

IRISH CORPORATION:
You have one Cowen. You wish you had no Cowen.

Or you have two cows. You sell one to a corrupt Arab regime who refuses to pay. But that's okay because thanks to your government friends, you're covered by export credit insurance. Years later, some other friends make millions in legal fees investigating the whole mess in The Cow Tribunal.

[Fr. Hank Tree]

ICELANDIC CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You borrow 50 and use them to buy up the rest of the world.