Just got my first Bertie text from someone:
Q. What have Jack Lynch. Charlie Haughey and Bertie Ahern in common?
A. Jack Lynch sang the Banks; Charlie robbed the banks and Bertie knows nuttin about Banks!
A bit tame, I know. Has anyone got any better ones yet?
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.15
Perjury is a serious crime punishable by a jail sentence...hahahahhahahah
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Was Just E-mailed this one:
An Irishman died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone in the universe has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?" "That's St. Patrick's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Daniel O'Connell's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that he told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Bertie Ahern's clock?" asked the man. "Bertie's clock is in God's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
I heard that he was being offered a position on a new show called Leader Swap and that he is off to Zimbabwe and we're getting Pres. Robert M.
Dan Sullivan. I was back but we still couldn't all have a vote.
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Just came across this;
It was once said of three of our Prime Ministers that:
Garrett Fitzgerald couldn't tell a lie.
Charlie Haughey couldn't tell the truth and
Bertie Ahern couldn't tell the difference.
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.15
Bertie Ahern is to star in the latest lion king film its to be called Bertie the lying b.astard
Thats not really funny when one considers at least wed probably get our oil back .Originally Posted by KingKane
Who was the finance minister with no bank account that gave our oil and gas resources away tax and royalty free to Tony OReilly and Shell ? allowing them to write off foreign exploration costs against the Irish taxpayer , having the Irish taxpayer foot the bill for their pipelines , forcing Irish citizens to pay foreigners the full rate for their own oil and gas ? Why it was Bertie Ahern , the same man who set the terms of reference for the tribunal to ensure it could only look at planning corruption and not any other form of corruption . Even the most corrupt african dictator ensures their country gets at least some of the oil and gas pie , if only to keep their generals in new Mercedes . Berties on a whole different level .
And unlike the Nice referendum Mugabe is more likely to accept the outcome of a vote he didnt like than Ahern.
To be honest the Zimbabweans probably wouldnt want him .
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Thats not really funny when one considers at least wed probably get our oil back .
Who was the finance minister with no bank account that gave our oil and gas resources away tax and royalty free to Tony OReilly and Shell ? allowing them to write off foreign exploration costs against the Irish taxpayer , having the Irish taxpayer foot the bill for their pipelines , forcing Irish citizens to pay foreigners the full rate for their own oil and gas ? Why it was Bertie Ahern , the same man who set the terms of reference for the tribunal to ensure it could only look at planning corruption and not any other form of corruption . Even the most corrupt african dictator ensures their country gets at least some of the oil and gas pie , if only to keep their generals in new Mercedes . Berties on a whole different level .
And unlike the Nice referendum Mugabe is more likely to accept the outcome of a vote he didnt like than Ahern.
To be honest the Zimbabweans probably wouldnt want him .
Well it starts bad and gets worse and the punchline isnt the best.Who texted you that one merle ? Id delete their number and never speak to them again.
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