British Newspapers can be neatly categorized thus:
* The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
* The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
* The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
* The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country and think Hitler was rather a nice chap.
* The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
* The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
* The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it already is.
* The Sun is read by people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big tits.
* The Daily Sport is read by people who don't know what a country is. But they like tits!
* The Star is read by people who think that everyone should run their own country, with girls with BIG TITS!
* The Express is read by people who hate their country, everybody else's country and themselves, and everything in general.
* The Independent is read by people who own the newspapers.