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  1. #1
    automaticforthepeople automaticforthepeople is offline
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    Michael Healey Rae suffers another near death experience

    Last year the winner of the reality tv show Election 2016, Michael Healey Rae suffered a near death experience when a cow took exception to his excessive bull shyte in a field. As a consequence Michael was admitted to Kerry County Home beyond in Kilgarvan where the minor injuries unit removed our hero from the horns of his dilemma and the offending bovine dispatched to the knackers yard.

    Some time ago Michael won another reality TV show when he spent time in the foothills of Croagh Patrick with a few celebs while his auld fella furiously fingered his phone voting night noon and morning to keep his gom of a son in the competition for fear of him coming home early and despoiling the grand peace and quiet that the folks around the ring were in enjoying in his absence.
    Tis a strange to report but on the very night when another Kerryman was following in Michaels footsteps taking the prize for Dancin with the shtars, what befell the bould Michael only that he would choke so hard on the chicken wings from the take away in Kilgarvan that it was decided that an ambulance and a reporter would be telephoned so as to get him back in the news headlines again.

    It seems the coughing fit was caused when he was presented with the phone bill for voting for Aidan to win Dancin with the shtars. We're getting closer to a by election than we think. Who'll the Healey Raes run if the 3rd attempt to revive Michael's publicity drive comes unshtuck?

    'Janey mac, that was a tight one': Ambulance called for Michael Healy-Rae after choking fit
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  2. #2
    Analyzer Analyzer is offline
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    Who ?

    Sounds like attention seeking syndrome.
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  3. #3
    Socratus O' Pericles Socratus O' Pericles is offline
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    NDEs are nothing to laugh at and often have profoundly deleterious effects on the patient.
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  4. #4
    automaticforthepeople automaticforthepeople is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socratus O' Pericles View Post
    NDEs are nothing to laugh at and often have profoundly deleterious effects on the patient.
    The county sturgeon says that in severe cases anoxia occurs! The older brother's young wan who is a teacher had to explain that that means that the brain is deprived oxygen and that brain damage can often result. Luckily in this case there's divil the bit of a chance of that even if he never breathed for another fortnight.
    Last edited by automaticforthepeople; 28th March 2017 at 05:25 PM.
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  5. #5
    ShinnerBot No.32564844524 ShinnerBot No.32564844524 is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by automaticforthepeople View Post
    Last year the winner of the reality tv show Election 2016, Michael Healey Rae suffered a near death experience when a cow took exception to his excessive bull shyte in a field. As a consequence Michael was admitted to Kerry County Home beyond in Kilgarvan where the minor injuries unit removed our hero from the horns of his dilemma and the offending bovine dispatched to the knackers yard.
    If by dispatched to the bovine yard you mean Leinster house Wink...wink...

    The cows doing grand I hear and god up above is looking after it's weather.
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  6. #6
    gatsbygirl20 gatsbygirl20 is offline

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    Poor guy.

    Choking on a chicken wing--or choking on anything--is a very frightening experience.

    I like Michael Healy Ray in a funny sort of way. Lovely accent.
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  7. #7
    Cruimh Cruimh is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by gatsbygirl20 View Post
    Poor guy.

    Choking on a chicken wing--or choking on anything--is a very frightening experience.

    I like Michael Healy Ray in a funny sort of way. Lovely accent.
    Mind you the description seems a tad embellished - unless an ambulance just happened to be parked outside his house while the staff had a fag break .....
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  8. #8
    gatsbygirl20 gatsbygirl20 is offline

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruimh View Post
    Mind you the description seems a tad embellished - unless an ambulance just happened to be parked outside his house while the staff had a fag break .....
    Apparently, a neighbour performed the Heimlich manoeuvre on him, because he had turned purple, the poor chap.

    Although it would not surprise me if Michael had his own personalised Kerry ambulance on standby.

    He was attacked by a calf and hospitalised last year during crucial government-formation talks.

    Someone up there has it in for Michael.
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  9. #9
    Cai Cai is offline

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    Did his cap & head remain joined through this unpleasant experience?
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  10. #10
    Dearghoul Dearghoul is offline

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    Quote Originally Posted by gatsbygirl20 View Post
    Apparently, a neighbour performed the Heimlich manoeuvre on him, because he had turned purple, the poor chap.

    Although it would not surprise me if Michael had his own personalised Kerry ambulance on standby.

    He was attacked by a calf and hospitalised last year during crucial government-formation talks.

    Someone up there has it in for Michael.
    We don't even have to look to the skies.

    The beasts of the field and the barnyard fowl have it in for him.

    'Tis like something out of Saki.
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