FINE GAEL’s candidate in the Dublin Central byelection narrowly avoided serious injury yesterday afternoon when a car mounted the footpath and ran over his foot as he was leaving Bertie Ahern’s local.
While out canvassing, Senator Paschal Donohoe stopped off at Fagan’s pub in Drumcondra. As he left the popular hostelry, opposite the former taoiseach’s St Luke’s headquarters, he was knocked over.
“All my leaflets went flying and I got properly clobbered. Richard Bruton was with me at the time, and he got a terrible shock,” said Mr Donohoe.
So who was driving the car?! The speculation is that the suspects include:
Joe Burke: Regular at St. Lukes and Fagans, and sugar-daddy to another FF by-election candidate. Recently made reduntant from his public sector job. Has a history of being found slumped over the steering wheel of cars in mysterious circumstances
Jim McDaid (a.k.a."Dr. Death"): A (former) road-user and noted campaigner for suicide victims. Narrowly escaped murdering several fellow motorists on the M7 some years back. Described the incident as "performance art."
Christy "Stirling Moss" O'Sullivan: Recent convert to FF. Tipped by many to take the fast-lane to ministerial office
Chris Andrews TD: Noted South Dublin intellectual. Reacting to news about George Lee, he said "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
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