Dumb Fianna Fail telephone callers

[NotDevsSon]

One of the funniest feature of modern politics is the tendency of parties to call radio shows and parties pretending to be an independent or from another political party. No doubt all parties do it, but for some reason Fianna Failers when they do it stand out a mile.

Take a late night political chat show on Radio 1 last night. A woman from the east coast who is a 'thirty year member of FG' calls in and has her comments as she said them read out. In her ire she said that there was fury in her Fine Gael 'cumann' at Fine Gael's attacks on Ahern and how they reacted to resignation. Fine Gaelers will immediately spot that she was a Fianna Failer by the comment. For Fine Gael in the east coast doesn't have cumainn. Fianna Fail do. D'oh. (It is like a Catholic pretending to be a Free Presbyterian and referring to hearing an Ian Paisley sermon at a 'Free Presbyterian Mass'!)

So Lesson Number 1: If you are a Fianna Failer pretending to be from another party, remember to use the names THEY call units of their organisation, not what YOUR party calls the equivalent.

Then there are the 'independent' people RTE are used to get calling who immediately say 'I'm not a member of Fianna Fail . . ." before anyone asked them. A genuine independent wouldn't deny being a member of Fianna Fail because they wouldn't presume people would presume they were.

Lesson Number 2: Only members of a political party tend to deny, without being asked, being members of that party.

All parties know another type of Fianna Fail caller - The Script Deliverer. They call up and claim either to be an independent or a member of the party they are calling, and claim they are outraged. The trouble is that they all deliver the same script, word for word.

"My name is X. I've been a member of your party for 20 years. I am ringing to express my outrage at your attacks on our Taoiseach. Your comments are a disgrace. Everyone I know thinks that. I will not be voting for you in the next election. You sicken me. Goodbye."

Next call:

"My name is Y. I've been a member of your party for 20 years. I am ringing to express my outrage at your attacks on our Taoiseach. Your comments are a disgrace. Everyone I know thinks that. I will not be voting for you in the next election. You sicken me. Goodbye."

One of the tricks to catch out those callers is to casually say "So why did your Comhairle Dail Ceanntair pass a motion of no confidence in the Taoiseach?" The caller will go ballistic, saying "The Comhairle never passed any such mot. . . [cue the penny dropping that they know what the Comhairle Dail Ceanntair did, meaning that they have admitted actually being in Fianna Fail. Followed by at best a sudden hanging up, or at worst a swear word followed by a hanging up.

Lesson Number 3: Don't repeat a script word for word. It does tend to give the game away.

Then there's the Questions and Answers 'independent', who sits hyperactively waiting to get their comment in. Without being asked they will deny being a member of Fianna Fail, then talk about "our leader" and echo the standard party script "tribunal witchhunt yada yada yada waste of public money yada yada yada the greatest leader yada yada yada no evidence of corruption yada yada yada . . ." all while looking and sounding like something from FF central casting. I remember my favourite was when many years ago an "independent" castigated the Labour Party for attacking the then leader, Albert Reynolds. Too bad for them that as a member of the FF National Executive everyone on the panel knew they were no independent. But the panelists played along with it for a couple of comments until they impailed the fool.

Lesson Number 4: Members of the Fianna Fail National Executive should avoid pretending to be independents on Q&A. Everyone on the panel, and the journalists looking in, will know exactly who they are, what constituency they are from, and everything else about them.

I'm sure people in all parties try these tricks, but for some reason it tends to be Fianna Failers who get caught out. Though you have to be a rather dumb caller to pretend to be a Fianna Failer from the east coast and then refer to your Fine Gael branch as a 'cumann'. D'oh!

[Rufty]

Lesson Number 4: Members of the Fianna Fail National Executive should avoid pretending to be independents on Q&A. Everyone on the panel, and the journalists looking in, will know exactly who they are, what constituency they are from, and everything else about them.

Sincerly doubt that blanket statement is true seeing as theres about 100 members of the Árd Chomhairle.

[freedomlover]

Winners don't need lessons from losers. FF are the most successful political organisation in the democratic world. FF has been democratically elected to government for 59 of the last 76 years. FF have been elected to government in 19 of the last 24 general elections. Show me another political organisation in the democratic world that can match that. For a loser like you to be offering lessons to FF is like the manager of Derby County offering lessons to Manchester United.

[Fr. Hank Tree]

Winners don't need lessons from losers. FF are the most successful political organisation in the democratic world. FF has been democratically elected to government for 59 of the last 76 years. FF have been elected to government in 19 of the last 24 general elections. Show me another political organisation in the democratic world that can match that. For a loser like you to be offering lessons to FF is like the manager of Derby County offering lessons to Manchester United.

Talk about missing the point.

[Morris Phillips]

There was once a clown in Waterford, who rang up WLR at election time last year, spent 10 minutes giving out about the health service, roads, WIT's status and the goverment, the presenter Billy McCarthy then asked him who he was voting for: he answered "well, im voting for Fianna Fail, im going to get our man in there". Only in Ireland.

[geraghd]

well to be honest who but a rabbit FFer would bother phoning in and saying attacking Bertie was a disgrace and the opposition should be ashamed etc etc.. I'd take anyone with such grievances with a truckload of salt. The ordinary independent member of the public just wouldn't bother.

[Morris Phillips]

Unintentional double post.

[Morris Phillips]

Unintentional triple post. Apologies.

[geraghd]

double post

[KATHY]

I agree there was a number of them on RTE in the last two days critising Enda Kenny, and it was very obvious where they were coming from.

Its a pity though that some of the FG posters on here seem to have fallen for it hook line and sinker, as they rush to bow to what they percieve to be public opinion.