So here we are, a nation in the agonising throes of atoning for our sins. And where's the man who was in charge of the good ship Titanic for the past 11 years? Honduras. We jest not. People are losing their jobs and their homes all over the country. The nation has lost its reputation. But Bertie Ahern soldiers on, selling the secrets of the Celtic Tiger lodestone to unsuspecting, far-flung audiences. One week, he's addressing international real estate investors in Manhattan. The next week, it's Tegucigalpa, where burgeoning Honduran entrepreneurs queue up to pay $150 each to hear the former taoiseach's dissertation on 'The Celtic Tiger: the Irish Model of Development'.
Meanwhile, back on Planet Leinster House, the monthly pay cheque of about €8,000 is dutifully made out to backbencher Bertie Ahern, along with an annual index-linked pension of €164,000. There is a time-honoured tradition that ex-taoisigh get paid in absentia, even when they've left a trail of devastation in their wake. Most TDs attend the Dáil fewer than 100 days in the year. Ex-taoisigh make an appearance three or four days. It frees them up for the lucrative lecture circuit and the company directorships. While he is in tribunal limbo-land, awaiting Judge Alan Mahon's final report, the offers of directorships have been sparse. Unsurprisingly, one he has gratefully accepted is with a property development company. He always got on well with the builders.
Not that Bertie Ahern was ever bothered with material trappings. His singular genius was the way he could hob-nob with the rich – displaying a salivating admiration for them – while creating the impression that he was with the people, shaking their hands and kissing their babies. Sure, the poor fellow didn't even have a bank account when he was the minister for finance and sanctioning tax breaks for super-wealthy individuals.
Ireland's most famous socialist saw nothing wrong with stuffing state boards with his cronies. He made his buddy Joe Burke chairman of Dublin Port, twice. He got his partner, Celia Larkin, onto the National Consumer Agency. His fundraiser-in-chief, Des Richardson, and his pal, Chris Wall, made it onto the board of Aer Lingus while the taxpayer still owned it. His constituency treasurer, Dominic Dillane, is a director of Fáilte Ireland. One of his so-called dig-out donors, Jim Nugent, was chairman of Cert, whose HQ was built in Ahern's Dublin Central constituency. And so on....