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  1. #11
    Wascurito Wascurito is online now
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eire1976 View Post
    Then you get women writing that if the man is handsome, they want to be thrown on the floor and taken hard.

    What gives?
    You might be watching too much porn. Anyway, just because one woman wants something doesn't mean they all will. If the person being importuné(e) says no, that means no.
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  2. #12
    petaljam petaljam is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily Davison View Post
    George might look good but might be an idiot. Weinstein, who is particularly bad looking might be charming. So I’m not sure that there is always a clear cut advantage there unless on the superficial first glance.
    Oh absolutely, but it's just a general comment : women, like men, are susceptible to good looks. That doesn't mean it's the only factor, but in the Mills and Boons "take me now" kind of scenario that I assumed was being referred to, I think physical attraction is the main element. A lot of that is fantasy of course. Male and female.

    Basically, the frequency with which that actually happens IRL is probably massively exaggerated in M&B et al.
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  3. #13
    Wascurito Wascurito is online now
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    The letter is shorter than I expected and doesn't seem to deal with the complex issue of economic power. If a boss "hits on" an employee, there is the implicit (sometimes explicit) threat that failure to cooperate with the advances could damage the employee's career.
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  4. #14
    CatullusV CatullusV is offline

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    It's a difficult call to make.

    The line is blurred. Practically every physical relationship may involve an approach which has the potential to be considered so undesired as to be an assault.

    To add another layer of complexity, some people use feigned distaste od a potential partner in order to present a challenge.

    No means no is the absolute rule in the end.
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  5. #15
    Emily Davison Emily Davison is online now

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    Quote Originally Posted by petaljam View Post
    Oh absolutely, but it's just a general comment : women, like men, are susceptible to good looks. That doesn't mean it's the only factor, but in the Mills and Boons "take me now" kind of scenario that I assumed was being referred to, I think physical attraction is the main element. A lot of that is fantasy of course. Male and female.

    Basically, the frequency with which that actually happens IRL is probably massively exaggerated in M&B et al.

    What do you think of the comment on Catherine Deneuve by a woman who has said Weinstein raped her. ‘interiorised misogyny’

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/09/m...-movement.html
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  6. #16
    Cruimh Cruimh is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily Davison View Post
    About the word hit on. Is that not correct. Can we not say it. Or what can we call it.
    Good question. Hit on has undertones of violence and suggests an attempt to dominate and bully. Flirt. Make eyes at. Dally. Court.
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  7. #17
    Emily Davison Emily Davison is online now

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wascurito View Post
    The letter is shorter than I expected and doesn't seem to deal with the complex issue of economic power. If a boss "hits on" an employee, there is the implicit (sometimes explicit) threat that failure to cooperate with the advances could damage the employee's career.
    That’s clearly abuse. It’s not the same as a man chatting up or pursuing a woman in a different setting. Many companies have clear cut policies though, and most men know well enough to keep it out of the workplace.
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  8. #18
    silverharp silverharp is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruimh View Post
    Good question. Hit on has undertones of violence and suggests an attempt to dominate and bully. Flirt. Make eyes at. Dally. Court.
    woo
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  9. #19
    Cruimh Cruimh is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Emily Davison View Post
    I think we can all agree that Trump is offensive. But, some women seem to not mind, personally I did not understand that, but it seems to be true nevertheless. He’s so gross and obnoxious in my view that it’s difficult to understand.

    About educating men, do men not know what no is, it’s not my experience. But it’s also my experience that men need to be persistent. You mention any sign of rejection, us women can play hard to get, or be hard to get and need pursuing. Is that not how it works. Though one dies wonder sometimes who is pursuing who.
    What I meant about Trump was that his attitude in the past illustrated the worst kind of behaviour - not putting a hand on knees, not pinching a bottom, but 'grab them by the pussy'.
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  10. #20
    Emily Davison Emily Davison is online now

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruimh View Post
    Good question. Hit on has undertones of violence and suggests an attempt to dominate and bully. Flirt. Make eyes at. Dally. Court.
    I don’t think ‘hit on’ suggests violence at all. But it’s probably old fashioned. And flirting is not the same, it’s not strong enough.

    What is the term of today for a man pursuing a woman. And is that very idea or concept, itself old fashioned. Have we reached a point where the woman dies the pursuing.

    Court is like way old. Never heard of Dally ! Make eyes at makes me smile. Been too long out of the ‘game’.
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