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  1. #1
    runwiththewind runwiththewind is offline

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    Social etiquette

    Twice in the last 2 months I have attended dinner parties at two separate houses. We bought with us a bottle of red and white wine €45 and a gorgeous dessert bought in our local Super Value (who just happen to do the best breads and cakes, and desserts around). That cost €15. Lily O'Brien chocolates €15. Total €75.

    There was no more that 8 people present at each house. Our wine was grabbed and stowed away somewhere and our dessert disappeared into the host's fridges, never to be seen again. Didn't get a sniff of either. In each case the wine was cheap and there was no dessert on offer. These households, while not our friends as such, we are friendly with.

    I always understood that you drank and/or eat any gifts that guests brought with them ie, shared them around the table. Has there been a change of etiquette here that I have missed? Or is it a question of knowing a fool when they see one.

    My nose is seriously out of joint here?
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  2. #2
    eoghanacht eoghanacht is offline
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    Whu no recession around here, ye feckin s************************ I thought dinner parties went with the bubble?

    No you're dead right I would be seriously put out if my wine and desert was nicked. Don't go bask there again and if you have to bring a btl of wine worth a fiver.
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  3. #3
    commonman commonman is offline
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    Go to Aldi the next time, you spent a lot on wine may i say .
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  4. #4
    former wesleyan former wesleyan is offline
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    You're right; it was bad form.
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  5. #5
    drjimryan2 drjimryan2 is offline

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    i usually put away the wine/gifts brought.......

    HOWEVER!.........I provide good wine, starter, dinner, dessert and (usually) cheese followed by spanish brandy and ports......and dont expect people to bring anything - its their company I want!

    to put the gifts away and then not supply decent wine or dessert seems, to me, a bit rich!
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  6. #6
    hammer hammer is offline
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    You should have posted it in the D4etiquettesite.ie
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  7. #7
    louis bernard louis bernard is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by runwiththewind View Post
    Twice in the last 2 months I have attended dinner parties at two separate houses. We bought with us a bottle of red and white wine €45 and a gorgeous dessert bought in our local Super Value (who just happen to do the best breads and cakes, and desserts around). That cost €15. Lily O'Brien chocolates €15. Total €75.

    There was no more that 8 people present at each house. Our wine was grabbed and stowed away somewhere and our dessert disappeared into the host's fridges, never to be seen again. Didn't get a sniff of either. In each case the wine was cheap and there was no dessert on offer. These households, while not our friends as such, we are friendly with.

    I always understood that you drank and/or eat any gifts that guests brought with them ie, shared them around the table. Has there been a change of etiquette here that I have missed? Or is it a question of knowing a fool when they see one.

    My nose is seriously out of joint here?
    Your head must be also seriously out of joint, or you have so much money you don’t know what to do with it.
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  8. #8
    Tin Foil Hat Tin Foil Hat is offline
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    That's outrageous behaviour, to be fair. It might often happen that too much stuff gets brought to these kinds of things, so not everything gets opened, but these things should be opened unless they are just going to be wasted.

    Ye did bring too much stuff though. I would never expect guests to arrive at my house with 75 quid worth of stuff.
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  9. #9
    Ribeye Ribeye is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by runwiththewind View Post
    Twice in the last 2 months I have attended dinner parties at two separate houses. We bought with us a bottle of red and white wine €45 and a gorgeous dessert bought in our local Super Value (who just happen to do the best breads and cakes, and desserts around). That cost €15. Lily O'Brien chocolates €15. Total €75.

    There was no more that 8 people present at each house. Our wine was grabbed and stowed away somewhere and our dessert disappeared into the host's fridges, never to be seen again. Didn't get a sniff of either. In each case the wine was cheap and there was no dessert on offer. These households, while not our friends as such, we are friendly with.

    I always understood that you drank and/or eat any gifts that guests brought with them ie, shared them around the table. Has there been a change of etiquette here that I have missed? Or is it a question of knowing a fool when they see one.

    My nose is seriously out of joint here?
    Sorry, but it's actually you who commited the social fox pass,

    You don't bring a dessert to a dinner party,

    You might as well have shown up with a prawn cocktail under yer arm

    And maybe the hosts didn't think much of your wine choice and didn't want to serve it to their guests, expensive doesn't always mean better ye know,

    Look at the HSE
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  10. #10
    conservative green conservative green is offline

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    I would also consider it somewhat bad form, though in their defense most people don't spend anything like €45 on a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party given by casual acquaintances (at least, not in the circles I frequent) so they may have just thought it was a bottle of €7.99 plonk from the Spar bargain bin.

    The correct thing to do here from the hosting party's point of view, after thanking the guest for the gift, is to discretely ask if it's ok to serve it during the meal.
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