Without mentioning any names, even if you're the most ignorant gobsh1te on P.ie (you know who you are), you probably have written better prose than this:
"'I’ll never get over him,' she said to herself and the truth of that statement settled into her brain the way glitter settles on to a plastic landscape in a Christmas snow globe when she accepted the fact that she was trapped in bed between her half-ton boyfriend and the wall when he rolled over on to her nightgown and passed out, leaving her no way to climb out.”
Karen Hamilton, winner of the Romance category in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
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